All I want for Christmas is Ewe

Write-up by Gerry McDonnell

I hate Christmas. Last 12 months the wife bought me a ‘Rudolf’ umbrella just so she could use the line, ‘It appears line rain dear’. My selection to kick her out of the residence was correctly justified.

In a freakish coincidence, I found yet another umbrella as a consequence of her mother’s present. I cannot complain as well significantly even though, it had a street price of £35.

The Premiership’s quite individual ‘Rudolf’ will soon be joining me in the miserable corner. Fergie’s title aspirations acquired a Hammer blow final week the Villa can land a knockout strike at nine/2.

I am taking the little ones to Villa Park to see young Rooney it’s the only way they’ll get to see a excess fat guy with a beard this Xmas. Get your claws into Petrov at 16/one to score the 1st target.

Apparently, the Chelsea players are investing a total of £5 on presents for each and every other common flash footballers. A win above Wigan at 4/nine could see the champions on best of the tree on Christmas day.

AC Milan president Silvio Berlusconi has sensationally labelled Andriy Shevchenko a ‘lap-dog’. At least the Chelsea flop is under the thumb of a super-product I get ordered all around by a mad Sweaty. I’m nuts about the four/one for a Drogba opener.

Everton have asked the FA to start an enquiry into Jose Mourinho’s tirade in opposition to Andy Johnson I count on the FA’s report to contain 3 phrases.

Like Jesus, Steve Coppell has done absolute miracles this season. I can see Reading through acquiring the better of the Moyes boys at seven/five.

I was shocked to go through that Anton Ferdinand produced out with Big Brother’s Aisleyne at West Ham’s Xmas do. It was not the truth that he was partying so shortly following Alan Pardew’s dismissal that upset me I just dislike to photograph unattractive individuals kissing. I am cuddling the nine/four about a draw in between Fulham and the Hammers.

Liverpool’s festive shindig appeared a elegant affair. Robbie Fowler dressed up as Saddam Hussein, Dirk Kuyt donned a Superman outfit and I’m guessing Peter Crouch arrived as the beanstalk. Jermaine Pennant wished to go as a highway robber but was told he necessary fancy dress. You can’t disguise the fact that Liverpool will demolish Watford at 1/four.

Stevie Gerrard has been awarded the freedom of the borough of Knowsley. One perk is that he can freely generate his sheep down the main street Craig Bellamy would like a piece of that motion. I want a piece of the nine/2 about Bellamy netting the opener.

Wherever would we be with no laughter? Viewing Soccer AM. I’m in hysterics at the 7/4 on supply for a Bolton win at Manchester Town.

Could there be much more to Iain Dowie’s dismissal than meets the eye? There’s a rumour heading around that he was sacked to keep away from prospective mistletoe related resignations at the Crimbo lash-up. That concept continues to be contentious couple of would argue with the 4/five on give for Boro at residence to the Addicks.

Arsenal v Blackburn is as close as you can get to ‘Beauty and the Beast’ without having staring via my entrance window. The four/11 about the Gunners is basically beautiful.

Robbie Savage need to be backed at seven/four to choose up a booking. It is the only way he’ll get a card this Xmas.

I’m unbelievably jealous of Matt Taylor. Whilst i’ve been stuck at property with a Xmas pudding, the Pompey star has bagged a few of true crackers. The 8/13 on supply for a Portsmouth win above Sheffield United is so eye-catching I’m considering kicking the wife out and shifting it in.

I’m embarrassed to say that if Tottenham fail to win at St James’ Park, the youngsters are having bread and butter for their Xmas dinner. If Spurs arrive via at seven/four, I’m going to splash out on a jar of strawberry jam.

I am so assured that the weekend accer of Arsenal, Boro, Pompey, Reading through and Chelsea will romp in at 12/1 i’ve by now paid for the wife’s Christmas presents out of the winnings. There’s a miniskirt and a weekend break in Ipswich beneath the tree.

About the Author

Gerry McDonnell is a specialist odds compiler, journalist and rescuer of little orphans.

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